This is the first post on this tumblr. It is both an introduction to my purpose behind this tumblr as well as meditations upon the title I decided to give the tumblr. The overall title is “From Dreaming to Believing”. If you take a look at the old testament, you see it littered with instances of God speaking to people through dreams. In the new testament, not as often, but still present. Am I trying to reclaim the gifts of the old prophets and say that we should be paying attention to our dreams and see what God’s trying to say there? Not really. God can speak through dreams, but let’s not try to predict how He works. Rather, I would like to examine the people who are the recipients of these dreams. When we look at the dreamers of the old testament we see a common trend.

1. God speaks through a dream either literally or figuratively

2. Someone interprets the dream, or it is clear to the dreamer already

3. The dreamer is convicted

4. The dream is fulfilled

From Joseph to Gideon to Joseph (Jesus’ earthly father) again. We see many prophets and great men receive God’s word through dreams. And that is what I want to focus on. They hear God’s word. Of course, sometimes it is difficult to understand and requires interpretation. But what is amazing is that once they understand the dreams, they don’t shrug it off as simply speculation or a possibility. They are convicted that it is true and will come to fruition? Why? Because there is power in God’s word. Whether it be in a dream, from the bible, from a pastor, from a friend, or from the Holy Spirit within you, there is power in God’s word. When God says something, it will happen. Heck, He created the whole universe simply by speaking, what more can we say. And of course, in due time, the message of the dream is fulfilled. But what is key here is that the dreamer believes before it happens. When Joseph interprets the Pharaoh’s dream, he doesn’t simply say “There might be 7 years of prosperity then 7 years of famine. But then again, there might not.” He says very firmly that the years of prosperity and famine will come to past. And Pharaoh, who does not believe in God, responds by putting Joseph in charge of the whole kingdom to prepare for what is coming. How ridiculous is that. In our day and age, we would dismiss such an interpretation as superstition and insanity. In fact, as we broaden the scope, we see that the skeptics of our day go as far to dismiss God as superstition, a human coping mechanism, or as one of my professors put it “But of course we don’t believe in God, unless you like having imaginary friends.” Although I may not have skepticism about God’s existence, I do struggle daily with following Him and understanding His will for me. I wish to be like the dreamers of the bible. To hear God’s word through a dream and to believe. Whether it be through a dream, through a pastor, through a friend, through the bible, through the Holy Spirit, or through whatever Lord, I pray that I may believe Your Word and believe You.

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This then leads me to the subtitle for this tumblr, “Wrestling with God.” This comes straight out of Genesis 32:22-30.

   That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

   But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

   The man asked him, “What is your name?”

   “Jacob,” he answered.

   Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

    Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”

   But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

    So Jacob called the place Peniel,saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

If you’re not familiar with this passage, what you need to know is that up till now, Jacob has bought his brother’s birthright, tricked his father into blessing him (the younger son) instead of his brother, ran away from an angry Esau, settled with his uncle, married his uncle’s two daughters, prospered, but then ran away from his uncle, settled the conflict with his uncle, and now is about to meet his brother for the first time since he ran away. Looking at the beginning of the passage, I can’t tell you why Jacob chose to send everyone over first and stay behind by himself. If it were me, I would probably be freaking out and want some time for myself. But anyways, what is interesting is that a man comes and wrestles with him. Where did this man come from? Who is he? Why are they wrestling? I have no idea, well at least not yet. But it is quite feat for them to be wrestling for a full night. And then something ridiculous happens. The man touches Jacob’s hip and he manages to wrench it (or dislocate it in ESV&NASB). Either the touch was more of a punch, this man has ridiculous finger strength, or there’s more to this man than meets the eye. But what happens next is even more ridiculous and possibly slightly comical. Jacob clings to this man’s legs and refuses to let go unless the man blesses him. Imagine a grown man holding on desperately to another grown man’s leg shouting “TELL ME IT WILL BE ALRIGHT!” How ridiculous is that, but that’s what basically happens. And now here is where it becomes quite interesting. Rather then kick Jacob in the face, the man asks him his name. Jacob answers. Then the man says “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” What an amazing statement. Firstly, the man changes Jacob’s name to Israel. Weird isn’t it, but when looking at the whole scope of the bible, it’s quite amazing. Up until now Jacob has been far from perfect, in fact he has been quite a coward and a con artist. But from this point on, Jacob no longer walks in fear and with his head down, he walks proud and righteous as a Godly man. And this new name, Israel has incredible significance. From this point on, whenever God speaks of His people, he calls them Israel. How awesome is that. But it doesn’t end there, he goes on to tell Jacob that he has struggled with God and with humans and has overcome. Overcoming humans I can understand, but overcoming God, that’s incredible. Now, overcome here doesn’t mean he has surpassed God, but rather that he has withstood God’s trials and has passed them all. It wasn’t easy, but he did it. And through that, Jacob is forever a changed man. And now, FINALLY, Jacob asks this man who he is. And simply saying “Why do you ask my name?” the man blesses Jacob. And that’s when it hits Jacob, this is God. This is no ordinary man, but the creator of the heavens and the earth. How crazy is that? Jacob could have been destroyed by this man. His touch could have blown Jacob apart, let alone dislocate his hip. But that’s all God does, He dislocates Jacob’s hip. He doesn’t trash this coward named Jacob, but humbles him so that he can see what great things He has in store for him and even more, makes him the origin of God’s people.

What a story, whenever I read it, it is just breathtaking. Just like Jacob, I am incredibly weak and sinful. And just like Jacob, I am wrestling with God. In fact, my whole life is like a series of wrestling matches with God. With each new thing God shows me, I find myself struggling to understand and have peace with it. But God’s love is just so great, time and time again He dislocates my hip so that I can step back and see the bigger picture. He humbles me so that I can see his sovereignty and His plans for me. And with each match I lose, I find myself being blessed and drawn closer to God.

So as I continue to wrestle with God, I pray that I may continue to be humbled. I pray that I may continue to understand more and more of God’s grace. That I may not doubt like Jacob, but have great faith like Israel. And most of all, may You be exalted my Lord.

May I be like the dreamers of the bible. That when You speak and work in my life, I may share Your sovereignty with those around me. Amen.